The End of another year!

New years... Its always a anti climax in my books. Its not like the earth spins extra fast or the moon turns pink. Its just another year, month, day, min...
The only difference is that we've moved forward. Thankfully so.
This last year has been allot of work. For me as a person, my relationship/s with my husband, friends and myself, has changed. And I'm grateful it has. I feel I'm becoming a woman I want to know. Someone I could love and enjoy.

I know I still have allot of work to do. My work life is going to change and I fear its going to be harder at fist to deal with.
Gemma goes to a new environment. A new daycare. She is such a loving child and even when she acts like her father (lol) it doesn't last very long.

Me, I feel I'm stronger. I'm more at home with my life, choices and body.
I feel least responsible for others and this is a big thing for me. I always try and fix things. Mother my family and friends. But I've realised they don't always do it for me. And the understanding of what I might need from a relationship isn't always clear to them. So I'm pretty please that in most cases I've been able to tell them...

The results of my blood tests will come out next week. I go on Monday for my test. So that will be great to know that its over. I know it will be.

Thanks to all of you that have been supportive. And if you haven't, then you have next year to try! hahahaha

Cheers to a new bright year!

100th posting :)

SO this is my 100th posting since starting this blog. Cool hey :)

Anyway. Up date on the needle thing.
We'll I've now been on the ARV's for 3 weeks. They are not a fun thing to take.
The nausea continued for a while and some days it visits for a few mins still.
I don't sleep well. Partly from the drugs and partly from stress.
It doesn't matter that I'm such a low risk case that i shouldn't worry. I do.
And the worse part i cant drink my worries away :)
I take my last drugs on the 21st and will have to go in the new year for my testing.
Which is a long wait.

Taking the drugs is the easy part. No one tells you how hard your partner or child will take this. Its not easy for them. Gemma might be too small to understand whats going on,but she still is acting out. Poor child.
Leon, well he didn't protect me. That's a man thing. Its hard for him to think he might lose me. So this whole thing didn't just happen to me. It happened to my family too.

LETS not talk about my weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARG!!!!!!!
Besides being a stress eater, the med's don't help!!!!! The first 2 weeks when i wasn't fighting the nausea i was eating! and EATING AND EATING. thankfully that's kind of stopped now. 2.5kgs later! So will have to watch what i do over the festive season.

My photography has blow me away! I'm busy now and really making some money.
I've bought myself a second camera and a nice new lens. ABSA owns my arse now! lol
But I'll pay it back quickly the way things are going! Which is great.

I'm not sure if I'll have time to update during the festive season.
SO I'm going to wish you all a great and safe one

Thanks too all for the support over the last year!
Lots of love and wishes

Delmaine

Adding to the below

FYI there are other things that you can contract from needles and so on. I am also being tested for those. I AM a low risk case as we don't know how long the needle has been on the beach. BUT still. It doesn't make it easier.

It will never happen to me!

So its Friday afternoon (21st November) we're having dinner with friends in Houtbay, so we thought we'd go to houtbay beach for a little while with Gemma.
The weather was shocking out that way,should have taken that as a warning...

We started walking along the beach,I noticed how dirty the beach was,glass everywhere.As we walk I start picking up the glass pieces I found along the way,there is a dump on the side of the one dune, I add the glass to the rest of the pile. A little way down the beach Leon and Gemma start playing on the dunes, running up and down.I'm not in the mood,so I put my towel down, and watch the waves and run my hands through the sand...Then I something sharp prick me. I couldn't see it at first glance but lifted it out of the sand,it was a hypodermic needle attached to the syringe still.FREAKING HELL! What is that doing on the beach!? Whats in there?
I shouted to Leon to lift Gemma up off the beach and walk to me. I showed him what I found and told him what happened. Thankfully we have a family member who is a doctor and Leon called him while we were walking off the beach. He prepared me to a point for what I needed to do.
Find the nearest medical centre and get help. The chances of any type of infection is low BUT there is a chance!
So we found a place near by,waited to see the doctor.At this point i was VERY angry. Mad at the thought that if Gemma had felt it she wouldn't have known what i was and... and i don't want to think about it....

So Simone, the lovely pregnant doctor that dealt with me, informed me that i would have to go on ARV's for a month, just in case there was blood that was infected with the HIV virus on the needle. JOY. I also had to get a tetanus jab and give blood for testing.

The side effects are endless of the ARV's (combivir) So far for me its been headaches,nausea and a runny tummy. Its made me feel like i have the flu. Tired allot.
But its improving! Thankfully.

So I'll need to wait till the 6wks blood tests to see if I'm ok. Chances of infection is very low and with me taking the drugs its much lower!

I've been added to prayer chains and to our local Priest prayer list. My family are supportive and my friends, NOTHING SHORT OF AMAZING.

I'll be updating as I can. Please tell everyone about what happened. Tell them to watch where they are. No were is safe and for now, HOUTBAY beach is not safe for us or our children!

I will post photos of the needle when i have the strength to face it. Its still in the garage.

It only really hits you a few days later.After the anger goes. How much you stand to lose. Just by some dickhead that left his/her crap on the beach! Its so unfair!
The expense is also alarming! Hardly any of the average South Africans can afford the following
Doctor consultation and tetanus jab R400
Meds R500
Still waiting for account for blood work!!
Most people don't earn that in a month! And they say there are free clinics. Ok sounds great. BUT how do they get there? You need to start the ARV's with in a short space of time! (48hrs i think) for them to work. Do they get the mental care i got?
So much of this makes me want to scream!

Remember its world aids day on the 1st of December. Do something this year. Even if its only for me

Taking time out

It seems that we never just breath. Like the famous saying goes, stop and smell the flowers?
Well I've just done that. Taken a bit of time to figure out a few things, and surprise there were a few extras that popped up!

My holiday is over now. I've started with the crazy wedding months. I was even booked for another, so that's 6 in 3 months! Also booked for a few others things and this leaves me with very little times to socialise. I don't like that! I love entertaining and enjoying my friends. By next year the money will be much better I know, so I'll just stick it out. Since my positive attitude has taken over, I can see it in my photography. I'm a little bolder and I realise i don't have to be mainstream to take a good pic. I can just be me. Not everyone will like my style and that's ok. I don't like everybody! So that's even :)

Gemma is growing up so nicely. We've found a playschool for next year, just around the corner. Its lovely. Not to snotty. Has lots of outside and inside spaces so our angel will be looked after. Not that she's an angel at the moment, it seems she has her fathers temper and her mothers attitude! oh my hat, she's going to be a hard arse chick one day!

My brother is here at the moment,our Aunty Joan turned 70 on the 14th of October,so Belinda,Ava and myself are putting together a party tomorrow night at Belinda's house. Look forward to having most of that side of the family under one roof!Hope there isn't much blood shed!lol

I'm so proud of Tristan! He won gold for his Kata last saturday
Keep well all and don't forget to write!

All over

Thankfully I'm birthday has past with very little drama!

The pizza and jumping castle was a hit with the kids and I even got to enjoy myself!
The pay it forward part of my birthday went ok. I made over R800 towards a charity of my choice. Which is awesome! Besides getting a few gifts myself :)


I've been booked for 4 of my own weddings the new few months and one where I am helping Patrick out. So that is good for my pocket.


Not really much I want to share with the world at the moment.

Spring day??

Flip its freezing here in Cape Town, a few weeks ago I was walking around in a tshirt!! Now my finger are sore from the cold!

Besides the fact that I've been ill for 2 weeks. its just been SNOT and more SNOT! ARG!!!

SO its my birthday this week. Kind of not really an event this year for me. Not sure why that is really, maybe its because i cant really top last years one :)

So I'm just having some friends and family for pizza on Sunday and going to pay it forward this year, so not getting presents but instead, donating what money they would have spent on me to a charity. Not really selfless as I don't always enjoy the no gift thing, but kisses and loves are also great gift and the hand made cards kick arse so that is all good!


Thankfully the sars filing season for my company is over! YIPPY. Now for the millions of other things that I need to set up! man oh man.

I'm taking September off, its a no work month for my camera. The wedding season starts in October so i thought that i should at least try and see my family a bit before that starts! ha ha ha

It was Cindy birthday party Saturday. She also turned 30. She had a black and white party, were we all had to wear black and white. It was lovely, even with the power failer! ha ha. Lindsay, her really good friend, couldn't be there and I was asked to read something from her. You guys know me. I hate that type of thing, but because she's Cindy and i love her, i swallowed my pride and did it.
I didn't do too badly :) just cried a little!

Have a great week
I hope spring comes to find us

Breathing

Tell me, why do we as woman feel like we can never really stop and breath?
Once that wedding ring is on and the kids are around, being sick and tired isn't something we're allowed to feel? Our mothers did set an example, but what we don't know and didn't see are the hours that they cried themselves to sleep or the tired feet in the bath or the crap relationship they had with their husbands

I'm starting a new bread of woman, we want to be equal to men, not subservient and superhuman all at once??
Equal means equal. We all work. We both are tired. Then why is it that its more expected of me to wash the kitchen down, or clean the house?
STUFF THAT!!

SO taking time out is something we have to start doing more of and stuff the reaction of others.

Ok enough with the rantings.
I've taken some time to start sorting my head out, stop with the negative comments and I've started to feel better about myself.
Its amazing what a few words each day to yourself can do.
But my art suffered, because of the negative head space i found that my usual free style of photography was put out and although there was nothing wrong with any of it, it just wasn't me (hey Cindy :) )

But I'm feeling much more confidant again and back to my usual hot self with the camera :) ha ha ha

So Carol's visit is over, and sadly i didn't get to see her much, but family comments and work didn't play well with either of us, but I'm still thankful for the time i had with her. (going to miss u chick!)

Bridgette comes home in just over a week, looking forward to that! Its going to be a LONG first coffee! hee hee

Bonnie, my wingwoman, just dropped a great big boom on me! She found out on Friday that she is pregnant! While I'm just a little sad that i wont have my eviltwin on girls nights, I'm SO happy for her that she's going to be a mommy again! Not sure what her PH levels were though! ha ha ha

Gemma is well and showing Leon and I how just to chill.

What else... mmmm not much hey, just dont expect me to be around much in the next few months, I have 4 weddings,2 golf days, stacks of birthdays an end of year function, matric dance before party and I'm sure lots that I've forgotten! AND NO amount of negative head space is go int to stuff with my art again!

Hope you all have a easy week, i know i wont! but the challenge is going to be fun!

One down 3468461469 to go!

So Friday nights party was mental and there are about 600photos to prove it!
It was Cezannes 30th dress up party at a club in kenilworth, TO much wine and other stuff and SO MUCH dancing and WAY to much kissing went on!
My Feet are still sore in places from the crazy read shoes

Saturday saw my first matric dance. It was a small school and venue, i had help with 2 other photographers and we had fun. Being our first real night job it wasn't easy but we still got a few good ones for the kids.

Well it seems that my self confidence should be higher than it is.
I doubt myself alot and even when i know that its OK not to be perfect it still hurts when I'm not able to be.
So I've got self improvement homework. Which isn't easy if you look in the mirror and only see, failure.
Lucky for me i have good understanding friends and a few that are going through the same type of thing.
And a very understanding husband. Thanks for that.
Pleasing everyone is also impossible, that i need to get used too!

So the madness carries on and there are lots of events still this ,month.
And a few extra things that I'm holding close. You'll just have to watch this space!

I'm still in my pjs! I need to move!
Mail me soon
Big loves to you that are far away.

Oh and Carol is HOME for a few days. Looking forward to spending more time with her!

August the Killer month!

OMF- this month is going to be crazy, besides the work deadlines i have, there are so many other functions this month, starting with Friday! 080808, well that is the date, so there are a few million things happening on that day, Cezanne is 30, so we're celebrating it with a dress up party, watch this space for photos, at a venue that I'm not sharing, just in case u gate crash! ha ha
Then there are a few sites that I've joined that you need to submit a photo taken on that day, so that leave me with crazy ppl dress up or table mountain, guess what I'll take????

Carol is home for a few days from Wednesday! It seems like its going to be too short!

The weekend sees a first for me, I'm taking the photos at a matric dance, its not a big do at all, but its still something and I've asked 2 other photographers to come along, Belinda (my cousin) and Ian. They are building their porti's up so I'll help were i can.

So i said this month is crazy, so forgive me if i don't update for a while. I just wont have the time.

Cindy and Bonnie's bday's are up soon, and as their bday gifts i took them to watch the FULL MONTY, it was brilliant! i think that if your able to go, do it. The show is so well put together! We laughed allot at this!

Talk about laughing! Thanks Chantelle and Bonnie for the other night! damn, i think Clicks in Canal walks staff had a giggle at me crying with laughter on the floor!!!!


I've lost pluck again with the weight loss story, i really want to, but I'm just so flat at the moment i just cant be asked to do much! i don't want to be 60kgs again, that was the YOUNG and stupid me! I'm feeling more at home in this 30something body but just hate this tummy of mine. I guess we all not happy with some part of our body. I just need to stop bitching and start doing something, ITS JUST WORK!!!! KAK!

What else, did i tell u Leon's gone back to Tech? He hasn't studied since school, so his taking it easy, his doing 2 sub's at a time, i'm proud of him to go back and do something new. I know its not easy, so i'm a single parent twice a week!

I'm updating my clothes, it seems that the takkies and tees are just not doing me any justice so I'm buy more 'girlie' clothes and funking it up a bit. I have so many shoes now! I didn't think i had it in me!!!

OH damn, i need to dash! Enjoy the last few weeks of winter! if you can call it that!

Finding little signs

I don't really have much news, nothing of interest at least for you my adoring fans! :)

But like the heading says, sometimes in life you get little signs that your on the right or wrong path, or a msg of understand or hope, I'm not going to share this with you, but keep your eyes open for your own signs.

Don't forget that I'm playing it forward for my bday! So i hope you have deep pockets :)

Winter?? Dont act!

So we had a WHOLE week of winter storms and then??? The sun has been out and we've all got our washing done, even wore a tshirt or 2!

Good weather always lifts my mood. Makes me feel like I can handle life and whatever it sends my way.

Well I'm really missing my mom now. She's been away for 4 weeks! lucky its only 1 more left! My dad is already preparing for her return. BUT I know that the good intentions will be outed with in about 2hrs of her return to his normal demanding self.

In my 'circle' there is yet another divorce. Its so not cool. This time its the one that wanted the parting that I'm friends with, and even when u want to leave, its sounds so heavy! I wish I could do more. But I guess just being there is all i can offer. Even if its only to talk kak to take his mind off it. Shame, oh but a storm warning to the ladies. WATCH OUT! Once this one gets back in the game I fear for CAPE TOWN! ha ha ha MWAH!

Photography wise, well that is mental. I busy. Which is more of my own doing that anything. I'm now actively looking for clients and I'm finding them. Which is great.
Saturday I had 3 sets of clients (12 ppl in totally) I was clever with this one. Belinda is doing her photography course, so I thought, this would be a great opportunity for me to use her, so she came along and I could split the groups and up and get the photos I needed in a shorter time. It was hard work but allot of fun. Its almost 48hrs later and i haven't even opened the files!

Gemma is really growing to fast for my liking. She now tells us how to cross the road, look right, look left, look right, NO CARS!!! It throws me every time!



Heres to the last few days of July and the home coming of Carol for a few days! I miss u loads chick!

news from me

Well my mom being away has been interesting. Today, well, I wished England wasn't so far way I would have been there to kick the shit out of someone.
HOW do you treat ppl so flipping badly! I mean, its family for heaven's sake! I hope that my mom and family get it sorted out. Shame.

I haven't been behind my camera enough lately. I'm feeling it. But this weekend that will change! I have 3 shoots, a spin off from the competition I'm running on Facebook.

Planning for Cezanne's party on the 8th next month, I'm not sure what I'm going to go as,i need to go as some body from Hollywood, with the first name starting with a D.... the PUNK outfit wont work!
(BUT i do have an idea, and its not Demi Moore!)

Bon and I went our for drinks last week, I realise why the 2 of us are mate. WE ARE EVIL. Come out with us one night, and you'll see!
(we will have to kill u after though)

Carol is coming home in a few weeks. I'm looking forward to her being here.

I took Gemma to watch a show with some of her friends at the Baxter on Saturday morning. She sat very still and didn't take her eyes off the stage :)

Nothing more i feel like share. Just cant wait for the next month to fly by!

Oh there is one last thing, a heads up, for my birthday, I'm playing it forward this year, I've chosen someone that i would like to benefit from my bday, so start saving guys. NOT GIFTS FOR ME THIS YEAR!

mail me soon
miss you all that are far off

Being me...

So I've been thinking again. (doesn't happen often i know)
When you become a wife who are u? When you become a mother who are u?
When you become a friend, who are u?

I feel like all those ppl aren't always me. I don't always want to be mom. I don't always want to be a wife or an understanding friend. When do i just get to be me?
Do things only for me?
Not work or going out but what make me happy with no one else to answer too.
Why does things have to change when you have a ring on your figure or a child?

I don't mean that i don't want those relationships. I just want to figure out where i am. When do my own dreams get put aside??
I know i have to consider the ppl in my life. I love them. BUT WHERE AM I!!!!!


if u see me tell me :)

Well what's new? Mmmm its chantelle's 29th bday!
Happy bday to her.
I wonder why i have such a young friend, then i remember, she's just as tarty as i am!

My mom, sister, nice and nephew have gone to England for amonth. I'll miss my mom. as i talk to her daily.

Bridgette is safely in her villa. BITCH. in Ibiza. I miss her madly. Thankfully she has a cell number now so its easier to chat.

Bon and i had a fun time Saturday. we had an open day and a table at a play school to sell our products. Not really a me thing. I don't like selling myself. But we did well and the 2 of us are equally tarty so was fun.

What else.... Oh Chantelle's party is Saturday night. going to Jol after I think,
Sounds like a good idea. and since its not a ladies night, Leon is hopefully going to dance with me!!!

Gemma is saying her name nicely now. she's really cute.

Have my first white studio shoot on Saturday. Lank keen on that hey. I hope i get the results i want.
I took pics of Michelle on her horse. Was kind of fun. I learnt what I need to do for next time :)

To those of u that are far away. Big smooch from me. I miss you all. YIP that includes u ;)

landing with a boom

Since my last entry life has just flown by once again.
I've had another pic posted on the my news 24 section. I know its not such a big deal as any tart with a cam can send it a pic and it might be used. But I still feel special.

My photography is taking on a life of its own. I'm learning more things about my art everyday and I'm still enjoying it. To the surprise of my husband!

Home life has been busy. Lots of things happening. I've taken on a bit more book work and my mom is going to England soon for a holiday so I've been trying to learn her system in the office. Not sure if its a system that I'll ever understand. Maybe Noah's wife can help!

I've started a weight loss challenge with 2 friends. Whose names I'll leave out for now. Its only been 5 days but yesterday was HARD. I just wanted sweets!!!!
I'm determined this time to stick with it. I can let those girls beat me! ha ha ha

We hosting a few friends tomorrow night for Leon's bday. I'm going to be cooking today till tomorrow by the look of it. But next to my photography, its my next best art! :) Will be fun to have mate around again.

Gemma is now a talker. She repeats most words and is making sentences. She is now company, and i enjoy that allot. We can talk and pray and its special. I know that in a few years mommy will be uncool but I'm thankful its going to be years!!!

Carol is coming home in a few weeks (8 i think) I'm missing her calmest, and to top it my other calming person, Bridgette is leaving in 2wks for 3 months. The life of a rockstars wife i tell u!

All in one day Bonnie, Bridgette and I won our own lotto. Bridgette's pregnancy was confirmed as a boy the morning (YIPPY) I found out that another pic was used on line and Bonnie won some bucks on the lotto! It was a funny feeling.

Here's to a great JUNE, i can feel it in my bones :)

Changing Karma

In the beginning of the year, I did something that i don't often do. I read my horoscope for the year 2008. It read, that May would be a month of change.
I read into that there would be physical changes in my environment but it seems it was a mental change that the stars were pointing too.

This month has brought about big changes. I'm taking a different approach to my family and the business that is theirs. I realised that it doesn't matter how many times i point out the weaknesses in the chain, change is just not going to happen.
My photography and I have found our groove :)
I realise that I'm the person that needs to believe in me and it doesn't matter how many ppl pat me on the back as say, good job. If i don't believe in who i am then how will the world. (Tanya, the secret is out)

I had my first picture posted on news 24. Given its the local section and any body can send in pic's (doesn't mean they will use them)
It still gave me a great boost! Even Leon managed a 'well done babes' :)

Mothers day and Pentecost

The last few weeks have once again flown by with out a thought of this poor blog!

Today is mothers day and on top of that its Pentecost!. Pentecost is a special christian holy day, its were one of the 3 main points of being a christian originated.
So for me to have a holy day on a public celebration day is kind of special!

So whats new in my life? well lots.
Lots of things changing. Some make me bite my nails others make me smile...
Work is going to be a big adjustment. I don't think i want my life to stay this way so that has to change. Will keep you posted.

Photography is a big part of me still. I'm more in love with it than i have been.The results of a good pic is somethings more rewarding than a pay cheque (although that is also nice!)

This week we went to the SEXPO. It was allot of fun. Not much of an eye opener for me but i did buy a few essentials :) hee hee

We have a wedding coming up this weekend. Kind of looking forward to it, be nice not to work a wedding for a change!

And the fun starts!

So I haven't posted a few weeks again!
Mostly due to ill health, not just mine but out families.
Gemma had her first tonsillitis and Leon and i also had spin off illnesses ;)
I'm still getting over mine. Some mornings i feel like i was hit on the head.
Like this morning..... It feel like i drank 2 bottles of wine! BUT i didn't touch the stuff...

Bonnie and I did our first team building together. It went really well. So the wine farm have asked her to put a package together so when they get enquires on team building we'll get asked! So we're both pretty hopeful this takes off.

Cara-Claire's party was a hit with the kids. They all got to play with animals the whole party!

Its now Zoe's turn for a party, tomorrow's is a dress up theme. I just hope Gemma wants to wear what i bought her!

Me, I'm OK, besides being sick... Nothing much else i feel like sharing!

SO its been a year of blogging!

A whole year! can you imagine!

It didn't start out that i was going to really 'blog' but use this platform for advertising. (now moved to MFP)
I can say that I've enjoyed it for the most part. I don't always enjoy that i want to write or need to write, but i do like putting things out there. I sometimes picture myself as a writer or poet, but i know that my spelling and grammar just don't make the grade!
At least my artistic licence is now at work in my photography!

I'm trying to see life more through Gemma's eyes. The type of eyes that see things for the first time, that every new thing gets that WOW reaction. That dancing to silly music makes you laugh or putting mommies shoes on is the highlight of a day.
Well I'm not too keen on my mom's shoes, NOT about to walk a mile in them that's for sure!

Well its once again birthday time in our group of friends. There is 3 on Friday.
Barry and J Horn, as well as Cara-Claire Joynt. Gemma's little friend.

The team building with Bonnie is on Friday. I'm kind of nervous and the client that we'll be working for that day, do lots of functions, and if i preform well, who knows! I just hope i don't F*up! I know i wont! but still, nerves are a good thing!
Might even take my film cam a long to play around!

Remember to make every day FUN!
I AM!!!!

NO sleep!

So how do single parents do it?? Gemma has tonsillitis, sucks for her, but also for us. She's asleep now on the floor, poor kid. She only slept a total of 4hrs last night.
I hope the meds start to work soon!
Leon is also ill. So his been off since Wednesday. I'm trying to keep my head above water.
Bon and I went to a wine farm this week. She's doing a team building thing there next week and I'm taking the pic's of the day. FUN. The joy is that neither of us realised that it would be SO MUCH WORK! haha ha
OH well you live and learn!

Last week we went to a P party at Patricks place. Leon went as the pope and i went as a PUNK. I kind of dig my hair that way!

My cousin got married on Saturday too. YIP, i worked it!
But it was worth it. I handed over the pic's last night, and they both were very happy.

Looking forward to some sleep soon!

Body art

So I've decided on getting a tattoo!
i think i would like a nice big dolphin down my spine.... or roses... not sure?
what do you think?

Hot phone sex??

So the last two weeks have been mmmmm entertaining!
Last Sunday the home phone rings and low and behold its a crank call!! Asking me all sorts of questions, I realised soon enough that it wasn't one of my mates and put the phone down! So that was that. We had a good laugh and forgot about it!
Monday around dinner time the home number rings, I answer and its a guy from jhb doing market research and he would like to know my age, weight and height! What a laugh! Besides the fact that he was calling from his cell phone!! I don't know if it was the same guy. But it seems our home number is on a bathroom wall some where!!!!

Butterfly world was lovely. I got some OK pics of the 'flies and some lovely ones of Gemma and Zoe. It was worth getting lost for!

We went to my folks the weekend. It was relaxing enough, my dad just works on my last nerve if i spend longer than a day or 2 with him.
Sunday Ava and her family came up for the Easter egg hunt. Well it was an Easter PEG hunt. It was way to hot to hide the bunnies and eggs so Mom and i hid about 40 pegs and for every peg there was a chocolate surprise.
It was lank fun!!!

So we're going to Patrick on Friday night. We need to dress up as a P world (siss Cindy don't even think that ugly world!)
I SO don't want to were work clothes on Friday so a Prostitute is OUT!
If you have any ideas let me know! AND i don't want to be a PRINCESS!

My cousin is getting married the weekend. I'm taking the photos.

What else?? mmmmm Oh we've started with potty training Gemma.
Lets just say that she's not overly keen!
But I'm proud anyway. She has the rest of her life to be an adult. I'll try keeping her my baby for as long as i can!

And let there be no purpose in relationships save the deepening of the spirit” Kahlil Gibran

Its been a while :)

The last week has been entertaining. Leon did the Argus on the 9th of march. He did pretty well since he hasn't really been on his bike much at all. The weather however was perfect so at least that was on his side.

Dave also launched his new cd (Goldfish, Perceptions of Pacha) at kirstenbosch on the 9th. We were lucky that Leon got tickets, the place was pack!
my husband sore legs and all, took his girls to watch. It was so much fun. Gemma and Zoe i think danced way more than their moms!!!
Well done Dave!

Leon went on a course the whole of last week. It was kind of kak, I've got used to spending time with him and we just didn't have the time at all. Not even with Gemma's 2nd birthday on Wednesday! We ordered pizza (which Madam loves) and that was all we could really do. She was ill most of the week anyway and stayed home with me on her birthday. I took her for a casting and then we played with play dough and danced!

It was her party on Saturday. The flipping wind messed most of my idea's up, but she was having a ball anyway on the jumping castle till around 4pm when she fell and hurt her little hand. Shame, madam hadn't slept at all that day and went mental.
she just cried and cried after about 10mins she still hadn't calmed down we took her to the hospital.Xrays later and some pain killer she falls asleep, to wake up about 1h30mins later as good as new. Drama i tell you!
Bonnie and I didn't even get a chance to go on the water slide!!!

It was very emotionally draining for me, and i think Leon. We were both in bed by about 10 30!!!

Poor Cezanne, Vince went away on Saturday morning so she and CC stayed over. At 10 30 CC was still awake! She was just so excited!!!
I had to force Gemma down at around 10 as she and CC were being SO silly ;) very cute though.

Thankfully the next lot of parties are only in April! Have some time to relax.

Leon has this week off, so we took a few hrs yesterday and went to the beach and for brunch.
This morning Gemma is staying home with us, we're taking her to Butterfly world, the Pooles are joining us too.
I hope to get some nice pic's and to just chill and let Gemma have fun with the 'flies!

Till later!

Happy birthday Carol!

So my friend is 30! finally one more has joined us on this side of the 3! hahahaha

I hope that she has many more great ones and we get to see her often.
(London is far bokkie!)

My dad's been to the doc today, test and more test, but it seems for now they can keep his kidneys going for sometime with meds and stuff.
Thankfully.

Gemma's party is coming ever closer. I'm not sure when she'll start to realise its her bday? Hopefully by next year. For now, I'll enjoy it for her.

Been getting lots of vibes off ppl the last few weeks.
lots of them have been spot on. So maybe now that I'm more grounded I'll be able to tune in better :)

I've never been so moody this last few days.
Poor Leon can do nothing right. I think it was the stress of my dad and not knowing what was going on.
Sorry babes.

Nothing more to report captain!
chat soon.
Give me a shout sometime.

Opposites’ day?

So in times of yore the ladies could be more masculine this day of the leap year and ask their men to marry them!

Thankfully I'm done with that!!!

I just had to blog today, its going to be 4yrs till i could do it again.

Gemma and Cara-Claire went to the carnival last night. Shit they can really party.
The little doll's went on their first carnival ride and boy did they love it!

For a change i didn't have my camera with, but i did get a few little video clips with my cell. So we have the moment!

Leon and I took the day off yesterday, only to work on the house for most of it!
But its worth it.

I'm feeling good thanks.Had a little procedure in the doctors office on Tuesday, nothing hectic but its not comfy. Thankfully its nearly healed up.

Looking forward to a good weekend with kids parties, mother in law and friends.

later my peeps :)

Paper cuts hurt!

I know that most of you don't blog, so i know that you don't understand always the process of it, but its not as simple as sit down and type.
You have to be careful of what you say, how you say it (well i don't always follow those rules :) )
I normally know the heading before i even start. This morning however, i'm sitting here thinking that i have no idea!! NONE about what i feel i want to share!

OH wait,Gemma's going to be 2 in a few weeks. I cant believe how fast she's grown and how even with all the drama in our lives she's turned out such a beautiful young girl.
She's started talking allot more, this last week alone there must have been about 20new words, including AMEN, which makes life difficult sometimes as madam now wants to pray 5 times for supper!!!
Last night we were drawing, and madam asked me, Mom draw barney, so i have a go at Barney, thank God the copy rite ppl don't know about it ;), so i finish, she claps and says mom barney and does all the little happy ppl things in excitement, while I'm chatting to Leon, she colors over barney with an orange crayon, then very sweetly says, mom! BARNEY DUCK! ja ja ja, i know, she's mental like her mother!! ha aha haha

So my dad's specialist appointment is next week. Well see what he has to say.
I'm not worried anymore about it. I feel that what must be will be!

Leon and I are in a much better space. So things are greatly improved at home.Thankfully ;)


Me, I'm once again having a fat day. I hate these. If there was anything i could change about being a woman it would be fat days.

Any way.Hope you're all well.
love
me

Lost for words

So yet another week has stormed past us and we're almost at the end of February!
What the hell!!!

So a little update on my dad and his kidneys. There isn’t much to say. The specialist only needs to see him in March so its not as bad as it was made out to be.
THANKFULLY

Me on the other hand, I’ve been doing well for a change. I'm happier than I’ve been in a very long time. I know that it still means there is stacks of work ahead of me but I’m still happy to do that. I'm getting used to the fact that I should have respect for myself and get it from those around me.
I like it :)

Been behind my camera a lot lately. Did a sports catalogue, oh my sack that was boring. There was about 50 different balls and I just wanted to cry! but at least i can add that to my list of what I’ve done.
I also tried to shot some fancy food dishes, i say tried because it really was my first try and i got a few okish things but nothing WOW. Well my dad says they are but we all know how he likes food! hahahaha

We're STILL busy with the house. We've lifted the carpets in the lounge over the weekend and started to take the glue that holds the under felt off. That is going to take sometime as we don’t need to use a machine but need to do it by hand. AND I’m lazy so haven’t done much since Sunday :) might get stuck in tonight again. BUT it’s going to look lovely. The kitchen not so much lovely just better :)

Gemma's 2nd bday is so to say planned. Still have to by the eats and stuff but this year I’m not going at all mental. As with last year, we’ve set a budget and I’m sticking too it. ( Well that’s what I’m telling Leon!)

Lost for words as my heading? HAVE you ever thought of me like that? I doubt it! But it does happen. Sometimes in life you make your path and along the way others paths cross yours or runs next to yours for a while, often veering off that you think you'll never walk that close again. Sometimes you get surprised. I'm getting surprised by being able to fall in love again. I didn’t think that could happen. I thought, its been years and so much history. yet here i am. Doing what I thought I couldn’t.
Isn’t that just awesome?

Then having more to exhale about.... I don’t like leaving things ugly any were but there were things last year that I had to... I'm not normally like that... I want everyone to like me. Thankfully karma is on my side for 2008 and I’m grateful for that.

Well I’m off to see the wizard.... More like go to work for an hr or so but the wizard just sounds better doesn’t it!

Later my PEEPS!

Old singers.. Not swingers!

Well! Saturday we had a good old jol with Chantelle's lot. It was a party for no reason and we had to dress up as singers. So leon and i went as Sonny and Cher. It was really good fun.

Leon had started to make the kitchen pretty. We're just painting over the LOVELY brown that was on the doors and will do the blue shelving soon too. ( I did help but not lots)

So their is other things once again going on. It seems like sometimes you're just not allowed to breath... Yesterday morning my dad called to let me know that one of his blood test's showed that he is about to suffer Kidney failer. JOY. So his off to see a specialist this week. The only thing is that my dad doesnt listen to doctors. He would rather use his own theories on how he should be cured.

About an hr after that, he called to let me know that his cousin's husband in London, who I'm fond of as i've been there 4 times and each time spent a while there, was found dead at home.

He wasnt a young man, in his 70s already and wasnt healthy either but it was still a shock.

I have so much work a head of me this week. SO not in the mood for it. I'd rather run away and hide. But the work wont leave! No one else would do it anyway.Damn!!!

Lets see what the week brings.... I hope less excitement!

Feb already??

When does the year slow down?
Feels like life doesnt stop... In away thats a good thing, if you stop you gather dust. I'm not about to gather dust!
So I finished up with my photography course, i still have so much to learn but like most ppl you learn by doing. I have to DO a lot still. Look forward to trying new things.

So the couples stuff we're doing is helping now. I'm not such a hard arse towards 'us', but i know that there still has to be a lot of effort put in before we'll be ok. I'm also ok with that :)

The next few weeks are going to be full, with our 'homework', the kitchen and other stuff we want to do, my work on weekends too now, parties, a wedding, the shower!, baptism's and then its Gemma's bday! I cant believe she'll be 2 in a few weeks. Its been a fast year.
We just got her bed yesterday and leon and Gemma are lying there now listening to stories. I've got to change her whole room around and get new stuff to make the bed fit in the room! You'll just have to wait and see what i mean.

Cindy is going for an op tomorrow, well not an op a scop i think, but if they need to fix anything they might just do it then and there. (thankfully they not checking for a BRAIN, otherwise they will have to do a transplant! jajaja COME GET ME CINDY!!! hahahah) will be praying for you babes.

We're going to a party for no reason with Chantelle and Barry as the hosts, on saturday. Looking forward to a bit of a jol.

Liandi and Mark's little boy Sean was born last friday. They are both doing fine I hear.

If you dont hear from me the next few weeks, dont feel unloved, I really have alot to sort out, home and me. So give me a shout and i'll respond! Or try to...

Monday morning and NOT blue

So I've been sick with the flu since Friday. Joy. It's kind of nice really. It meant that i didn't have to go anywhere and do anything. Just stayed at home and got to rest. Well as much as you can with a toddler around.

Our home life is less heavy the last week. Cool hey.

Work wise, SAES is now taking some of my time. I need to put some working hrs in there and thankfully I'll see that rewards.
MFP is also waking up now that the holidays are over. I have 2 bookings and a few ppl have asked for quotes which is a good start.
I've had a meeting with my printer and ordered flyer's and business cards. SO looking forward to that.

We're going to start doing some little things to the house.
Its not going to cost the earth, thankfully, but it will make a difference. And we're going to do it mostly ourselves. So at the end of Feb I'll post some before and after pic's if all goes to plan.

We have a 'party for no reason' coming up at Chantelle's. We have to go as a singer. I'm kind of stuck here. who should i go as??

I just wrote an email to Carol about someone that I no longer have contact with. But what i want to share is something that this person showed me.

Lesson : Learn to make yourself happy. Make your own choices. You don't want to find yourself alone at some stage and have to still find your happiness in life.
This doesn't me that you have to be inconsiderate but it its something to really think about.

I've been thinking about it allot. What do i want out of life??? I haven't figured it out yet.

My shrink says that although planning for the future is vital, i need to bring myself back to the present and live today. So today, I'm going to be happy. I'm going to really live. And when I'm done I'll have no regrets :)

Feelin fat??

So how many of you wake up in the morning and for no real reason cant find clothes to wear.

You feel fat and ugly and you're hair just doesn't work that day. Its a woman thing i know. Some days i forget I'm a woman. i forget that because i have this body I'm subject to its madness...

I'm even breaking out like a teenager!!! what the hell!!!

So there has been lots going on the last week. Leon and i are sorting our relationship out. Started seeing a mediator. You all know I'm a hot head so before i killed him i thought we should give this a try. So watch this space. So far the only benefit that I'm seeing, and i know it doesn't happen over night is that I'm less angry. I guess that's a start.

Gemma is still sleeping badly, so we've ordered her a new bed. So pray that helps!!!!

Otherwise I'm shipping her to her granny ;)

Leon and I went to a downhill mountain bike race in Jonkers hoek last Saturday. We got a mates camera for Leon to use and we took some pic's together. It was fun,. even the flipping hike in my sandals was worth it!

David and Claudia were home for his birthday too. So we went out to my mom on Sunday for David's bday and had lunch together. Kind of sad that Tanya wasn't there. She has her own idea's about right and wrong... But it was nice. David played cricket with his niece's and nephew. Was so cute to see Gemma play with.

Anyway I need to do some work. ja laugh Cindy.... hee hee

Behaving like a good girl

So I'm back to my self respecting self :)

No more messing around on the border's of my worth or my limits.

Its not easy. You get used to feeling a way and having a certain amount of disrespect for yourself.

So you allow things to slide. So what ever your own standards are in life becomes less and you don't even notice it.

I am a controlling person. I know I am. So in a lot of the relationships around me I've tried to stop that. I thought it was time that those that i was bossing around to find their own strength and worth.

Doesn't always work. Some times it gets worse for them. They depend on you to arrange their lives, to fix things, to validate who they are. But who am i to do that?

why worry about what i think?

I don't worry about what YOU think? I'm still me.

This year I'm working on my photography. I'm also going to work on my sign language skills again.

I think i need to practice more :)

Going to get some printing done soon for my photography.

Need flyer's and business cards done. So check your post box for my ad!!

2008??

So i fell asleep just before 12!! and only greeted 2008 around 4am!

last year sucked ass. So glad its gone.
We had some mates over to see the new year in. was nice to just chill. Besides someones drinking problem and my passing out, it was lekker!

Cindy's pregnancy had complications and she's lost the baby.
I don't know how this feels. I can only imagine how... Shame bokkie.

Bonnie and I are working out a plan to put our businesses out there. So watch this space!

Will keep u updated!!!